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This is Part 2 of the Real Women Fix Each Other’s Crowns Series. If you missed Part 1, you can check that out by clicking here. We’re going to dive right in to Part 2 and talk a little bit about why co-parenting is so important, and why having healthy co-parenting relationships, even if your child’s father has found someone new, is super important and beneficial to your child in the long run. Most importantly, I’m going to share with you why it’s easier to co-parent and how it helps the kids when everyone can get along.

Baby Mama Drama – Why Can’t We Just Co-Parent?

We all know that break-ups can be difficult, especially when it’s not a mutual agreement and one person wants to remain in the relationship while the other person wants out. While you feel like this situation is only difficult for you and you’re the only person going through it, that couldn’t be more false. A lot of people have to deal with this situation, but how you handle it will reflect back on your children. When you get lost in thinking about yourself, you forget about the kids. They are who needs everyone to get along the most! When you’re stressed, your kids feel it, so it’s easier on them if everyone could just get along.

When a break-up happens and the two of you share children, it complicates things even more. You can’t worry solely about yourself, you have to continue to put your focus on your children. Be the bigger person. Don’t blast your man’s baby mama on social media. She is still the mother of his child. I worked in childcare for several years and, let me tell you, there are several benefits of co-parenting! I’ll share a few with you:

  • It’s important for children to see their parents respecting and valuing each other. It’ll help the kids learn social maturity.
  • It teaches the children to learn what to do when in a disagreement when both people feel they are right.
  • The children will have better relationships with both parents if everyone can get along.
  • Better co-parenting relationships will help keep the kids from feeling like they are in the middle of the conflicts between their parents. They love you both and don’t want to choose sides.
  • Co-parenting makes things easier for everyone else in the child’s life like their teachers coaches, extended family, friends and new spouses.

Many women focus on putting the children in the middle when a relationship doesn’t work out. I know yall are rolling your eyes at that sentence, but men are whole lot less petty when it comes to that. Women sometimes use the child as a way to get back at their ex for not doing right by them. You don’t need me to tell you this is the wrong way to handle the situation. If your ex has moved on and you weren’t ready, don’t try to tear the new woman in his life down. Take whatever steps you need to cope with the fact that he has moved on, and then you should do the same.

Truth is, having another adult in your child’s life that loves them just as much as you do, is a great thing. No other woman can take your place in your child’s life, but I know you’ve heard the saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” right? The more people that love your child and can help out with homework, picking up that child from school and showing them love is an awesome thing. Don’t tear down the new woman just because the man has moved on. Allow her to be a part of the team. When everyone can spend time together without arguing, it makes things so much easier and enjoyable for everyone. It makes holidays, birthdays, school events, etc., way more fun when there is no animosity or pettiness. You’re also teaching your kids a lot during the process. Just because the relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean that you have to hate or dislike someone.

I’ve dated a man that has had children in the past, and the kids’ mother has 9 times out of 10 always been a problem unless she has already moved on with another man. I’m the type that would do anything for a child, and definitely treat them as my own, so it’s frustrating that things have to get so complicated when it really could be so simple. It’s crazy how closed-minded people are when it comes to co-parenting, or inviting in a steady woman in a man’s life (or vice versa) who in turn could just be another positive influence on their child’s life. I can definitely understand not wanting women/men in and out of a child’s life, but if that’s not the case, what is really the problem? We should work on helping each other and being a force for the kids.

Try hard to see the bigger picture and not react based solely on your own feelings. Think about the long-term and not the short-term alone. Co-parenting serves many benefits and can be very effective. Think about the ways everyone can work together to be a team. Don’t focus so much on tearing down the new woman/man (unless he/she has given you reason to do so!) Remember, real women fix each other’s crowns, they don’t tear each other down.

Comment below and let me know if you have an effective co-parenting relationship with your kid(s) father (or mother). How has effective co-parenting benefited you and your children?

Let’s move on to Part 3 of this series! It focuses on social media and how sometimes when you see what everyone else has going on in their lives, it can make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong. I’m going to share with you the reasons why you shouldn’t compare your life to other peoples’ lives on social media!

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